Countdown....10 days..

Wow! In roughly 10 days my husband will be home from a 14 month deployment. We've survived. A year ago this time I wasn't quite so sure that I would. Now, here we are. The frenzy has begun at our house...I'm frantically trying to get the house in top notch shape...lol! (why is it we wait till the 11th hour?) I had such grand plans in the beginning...all the little details and finishing touches I was going to do to the house while Q was away and well, here we are, and ....let's just say, I didn't quite make it. But, the bills have been paid, we've not missed any meals, the cars are still running and the house is still standing, so I guess we've not done too bad.

The next 10 days I'm going to try to keep my blog readers up to date on my "homecoming preparations" and my thoughts about Q's return. Keep in mind, I have 2 teenagers that keep me hopping, so life travels at the speed of light around here, but I'll do my best....today's agenda is to tackle Mt. Washmore (laundry)!! It is out of control.

Reintegration...

...aka..."let's learn to be a family again." I spent Saturday at what the military calls a Reintegration Briefing, listening to people tell me how I'm supposed to respond to my husband and how I'm not supposed to "rock the boat." Don't get me wrong, I think they had good intentions, but after several hours, it was apparent that I am not a concern to the military...only something they must deal with. I'm frustrated at the seemingly lack of resources available. I'm tired of being told to suck it up and deal...does anyone care how I feel? Is anyone telling my soldier to give ME time to adapt? The soldier isn't the only one that's been "battling" for the past 14 months...I've had my own wars to fight and quite frankly I'm tired too. Exhausted...to be more precise...but all I've heard is how I must continue to carry the load because I need to give my soldier time to adapt...that I need to leave him alone and not expect too much...that I need to be sensitive to his needs...what about my needs? Is that anyone's concern? I admit, I'm feeling a little selfish, but at the present moment..I feel entitled.

A little updating

Ok...be patient with my web design...I'm trying to update my blog since Q will soon be home (there won't be any Homefront Musing!). Of course, we all know how much free time I have, so this is definitely a work in progress.

A Time To Remember

Today marks another anniversary of 9/11 and the wake up call that America received. Take time today to stop and pray for our nation and for those that are defending it. The alarm has sounded...have you woke up?

Random Thoughts

I've been cooped up in the house all day...ugh...with a sick little boy. I needed a day to just be at home, but this isn't quite what I had in mind. Luckily, we already had doctors appointments scheduled for tomorrow. Actually, all total, we have 9 doctor appointments tomorrow. I know. Crazy! But, I was trying to multi-task. We'll see how that works out for me. Our first appt is at 8am...both kids will be having their dental check up and teeth cleaned. Next stop...orthodontist. Mal might get her braces off tomorrow and we'll see if Blake is ready to get his on! Whew! Then we're supposed to have a check up at the pediatrician and get booster shots...not sure if they'll do Blake's since he was sick today...you know he's sad about that...lol! Last stop we'll be the eye doctor, where we all three will get checked. I know that me and Mal will be ordering new glasses and I'm hoping that it will help at least some with my headaches. We'll end the day with a volleyball game against our cross town rival...GCT.

We are down to less than 3 weeks till daddy is home from Iraq. Nerves are at an all time high. It's just weird to think about him being home. Like right now, I'm just blogging away while Blake sleeps and waiting on Mal to get home from her volleyball game. I try to imagine what Q would be doing if he were here. Would he be watching the football game on tv...would he be at Mal's game...would he be sitting beside me chatting while I type? Will he leave his dirty glass in my freshly washed sink...Would he fold the towels in the dryer so that I could finish this blog? I know...all crazy, random thoughts...but it's what's in my head.

Ok...dryer stopped...duty calls...guess I'll go fold those towels.

The Next Layer...

...ok, I know many of you are wondering..."what happened after age 24?" I'd love to report that after I became a Christian that life has been all happily ever after, but as we all know...life is far from the fairy tale. I still struggle with emotional and sexual integrity. This is probably the biggest issue for me. I have to constantly be on guard for compromising situations because I know this is an area of weakness. I love my husband and this has nothing to do with him...it's about my own selfish desires. I just am thankful that God's grace is sufficient...for even me. It's sufficient for you too...if you were wondering. I still have an occasional drink and sometimes I want to push that limit too far. I still struggle with anger and wanting my own way. You know, sometimes I just want to crank the stereo up on some good rock-n-roll music and just drive and leave the cares of the world far behind. See, I'm not much different from you. But I know at the end of the day that my God has me in the palm of his hands and He won't let me fall too far. He's there waiting for me to realize I need Him and He's always waiting with arms open wide. Even when this world doesn't understand me or where I'm coming from, even when I don't understand myself...my God understands! I'm loving peeling off these layers of masks that I've worn. It has to be the most freeing thing...to rid myself of these things that weigh me down! Wow!

Get Naked

Ok...got your attention didn't I? But, I'm not talking about "naked" in the sense of no clothes...I'm talking about showing the "real you." Why is it that we live in a society that is so fearful of being authentic? Everyone has problems, everyone has screwed up, nobody is perfect....so it doesn't make sense that we all walk around this world pretending that we don't have any problems, we've never screwed up, and life is just peachy keen. I, for one, am tired of the charades. Flamingo Road Church in S. Florida is launching their My Naked Pastor series tomorrow 9/9 @ 9...and I encourage you to check it out www.mynakedpastor.com And, while you're at it...maybe you could get naked too. I'll start. I'm not perfect. Big surprise I'm sure. I began drinking and having sex when I was 14...was pregnant at 17...married at 18...had my first affair at 21...affair #2 at 23....forgiven at 24. I became a Christian in 1998 and God forgave all my past, my present, and my future. I still have problems with my old self creeping up...it truly is a daily dying to self kind of life...but I know that God has got my back and if I just look to Him and trust Him, he'll work all my pain and past for good. It's not easy being real...people judge you...look down upon you....don't understand you...but, for every person that has that opinion, there is another hurting person that just needs to know they're not alone. So, for those of you that struggle with sexual and emotional integrity...you are not alone! And, I promise you, if you will allow God into this intimate part of your life, HE WILL begin to heal you of your wounds.