Calming The Storm

I was told this week that sometimes God calms the storm...and sometimes He chooses to calm us in the midst of our storm. Wow...what a thought.

I feel like I've been in this storm a LONG time...sometimes I can't see the distant shore for the high waves that are crashing into my boat. Sometimes I'm so scared that I hover in the lower deck, oblivious to the beacon of light guiding me safely to the harbor. Sometimes I stand at the edge and think of jumping and let the sea carry me where it may.

Today....today, I'm aware that I'm in a storm...and it's relentless...and I realize that this is a storm that I must weather....so I choose today to find peace that God could calm this storm, but He would rather calm me.

Summit at Southside

Matt & Jessica Maestas from Desoto Community Church

Picture courtesy of Alicia

Last night was Summit for Southside Community Church and if you missed it, man I'm sorry. We had a guest speaker, Matt Maestas from Desoto, KS. My family first met Matt while in Kansas on the Summer Mission Trip. Well, let me tell ya...Matt brought it last night. He preached the Word of God with passion and challenged all of us to really seek what God is calling us to do... His main topic was on church planting, but I got way more than that out of it. Here's my highlights;

*What does it look like when Jesus moves into a neighborhood? What needs are met?

*If Southside ceased to exist would anyone, besides its members, notice? This one really hit home with me!!

*North America is the only continent where the church is NOT growing.

*Don't be afraid to pray the "Dangerous Prayer"....Lord, whatever you're calling me to do, I'm willing to do it.

I'm still digesting alot of what he said last night and asking myself, "what does God want from me and my family?" I prayed last night that God would help me to position myself to be useable by God...to be able to move geographically if that's what he chooses...to have a pocketbook that is able to help where I'm called. I have a long way to go, but willingness is definitely the first step!

Can You Hear Me Now??

Do you ever have those days when the noise in your head is so loud that you just can't concentrate? Today is one of those for me. I feel like God is screaming, "Can you hear me now?" and I'm going..."what?..did you say something Lord?..could You speak up."

I sat in church this morning and tried desperately to get my self together, but I just couldn't. I felt such a heavy spirit upon me and have yet to pinpoint exactly what that means. I was distracted while trying to lead worship...concentrating so much on getting it right that I failed to worship, thus didn't "get it right." I just felt like so many people, myself included, were just going through the motions of Sunday...checking their list that they'd attended church for the week. Our Saviour is so more deserving of our full attention and authentic praise...not the half-hearted, so called worship that He received this morning. I know that He must be disappointed in me.

I desire so much more! Why is it so hard to just live it out loud for God...all the time! Not a weekend check in....not a habit...not out of guilt or obligation. Real, Authentic, seeping out of my pores kinda life. That's the way I want to love my God!Why do I allow my circumstances and surroundings to steal my joy? I've been in a relationship with Christ for long enough that I feel I shouldn't be struggling with some of these basic principles, but here I am...so close to Christ birthday and feeling so far away from Him. I really need to find that quiet, still place in me and reconnect with my Best Friend this week....to make room in the "inn" and quit crowding Him out....to listen for that still, small voice....sometimes I think God has to get quiet, so I'll take notice. I'm praying that at the end of this week when God asks, "can you hear me?"...I'll be able to say, "Yes, Lord. I'm listening."