Do you ever have those days when the noise in your head is so loud that you just can't concentrate? Today is one of those for me. I feel like God is screaming, "Can you hear me now?" and I'm going..."what?..did you say something Lord?..could You speak up."
I sat in church this morning and tried desperately to get my self together, but I just couldn't. I felt such a heavy spirit upon me and have yet to pinpoint exactly what that means. I was distracted while trying to lead worship...concentrating so much on getting it right that I failed to worship, thus didn't "get it right." I just felt like so many people, myself included, were just going through the motions of Sunday...checking their list that they'd attended church for the week. Our Saviour is so more deserving of our full attention and authentic praise...not the half-hearted, so called worship that He received this morning. I know that He must be disappointed in me.
I desire so much more! Why is it so hard to just live it out loud for God...all the time! Not a weekend check in....not a habit...not out of guilt or obligation. Real, Authentic, seeping out of my pores kinda life. That's the way I want to love my God!Why do I allow my circumstances and surroundings to steal my joy? I've been in a relationship with Christ for long enough that I feel I shouldn't be struggling with some of these basic principles, but here I am...so close to Christ birthday and feeling so far away from Him. I really need to find that quiet, still place in me and reconnect with my Best Friend this week....to make room in the "inn" and quit crowding Him out....to listen for that still, small voice....sometimes I think God has to get quiet, so I'll take notice. I'm praying that at the end of this week when God asks, "can you hear me?"...I'll be able to say, "Yes, Lord. I'm listening."
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3 comments:
Hey sis...
Been there done that. I know what you are saying in this post. The first thing you must remember is that we , all of us, are human. Sometimes our human lives seemingly spill over into our Spiritual 'joy tank'. In todays world it is very easy , to be overcome with the worries of this life and things in it. You just have to step back , take a moment and think. Think about where you are at that moment, and where you need to be, and ask God to help you get there. Alot of times, we try to get there on our own because we think we have to becaues we got off the 'beaten track' on our own. Not so sis. Circumstances like what you explain in this blog are exactly why Jesus died. Not merely for salvation from sins. But his life was a sacrifice as well, his teachings, in order to help us get back where we want to be, where we need to be in our realtionship to him and with him.
Granted many times this is easier said that done. And like you we all have our 'off' days where we seem disconnected from absolutely everything that is of the "Spiritual Buffet". Remember those fiery arrows in Ephesians 6 my dear friend? Well this is what some of them look like.
There are a couple of things to think about when getting youself together. They were said by our Lord. He tells us that all who are tired and burden laden to come to Him and He will give you rest. He will bring that peace you so desperately seek. We must also remember , God is not going to speak up, we must listen for that gentle whisper. His message context may differ from person to person , but the overall message is the same, He loves you sis, He wants you to have the peace you seek, and wants you to learn how and where to find that peace. The first best place to start I have found for me that works is spending time each day reading His word and studying to understand it better and better. God gets frustrated more than disappointed. You dont find many places in scripture where God is disappointed as much as he is frustrated. He vocalizes this frustration in scripture when he states that we spend countless days worrying about our lives here and how to fix them or improve them, and not adding one single hour to our LIFE. Scripture teaches us not to worry about anything and to pray about everything. He knows our needs, but he wants a communion, a relationship with us.
I have seen your Spiritual life grown so much even from a distance. It not merely because myself or even your best girlfriend or anyone else, has done anything in particular. This is a feat that could only be accomplished by God through his Spirit. Knowing and having seen this much, I know that at one point you have discovered what you must do as a individual person, with you own life circumstances, to find that peace , learning how to be still , and listening for that whisper. I encourage you my dear sister, revisit those times ,and dont be discouraged.
I know your family and friends love you and join me in this encouragement and uplifting. Ginger... this is where 'the rubber meets the road' once again in our life and times in this world, most all , even if we think we let God down, we must remember he loves us more than anyone could. He wants us to keep on keeping on...something we have learned together in the last half decade or so through our own individual trials, is that God does love us and he will be there always. I also beleive he places people in our life to do different things along the way, whether it be encouage , teach, whatever it is at the moment. Heres a link I want you to go see this morning. Before work. Sit and read the message in the presentation, you will recognize the message as being taken from scripture. I know you have probably been to the website before but this message speaks directly to what you have shared in this blog and I know the Lords words are far better and complete than my own. And if your friends on the blog read this, I would encourage them to go and read and listen to this Inspirational Media as well. It may serve to help another as well.
God bless you sis,in this and any challenge. And always remember, a 'challenge' is only an 'opportunity' that has yet to be recognized.
Heres that link sis... I hope and pray it speaks to you like it did me... http://www.interviewwithgod.com/theoriginal.htm
Love you guys!God Bless!
John S.
Yes, I've had days and weeks and months like you describe.
I'm in one of those modes now. I don't want to be - but the focus has been on Kevin leaving, not on God or Jesus' birthday, or getting close to Him so I don't feel so alone when Kevin leaves.
I need to shift priorities!
Beautiful post - BTW.
What an incredible post... thank you for sharing your heart.
I find myself getting numb sometimes... I long to be more "in tune" in my daily walk. I suppose that is my human side.
God Bless your husband & all you and your family have given! Thank you!
Merry Merry Christmas!
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