Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Warning: I'm Whining!

Can I just be real with you guys for a minute?

I am struggling today....I feel like I'm torn into a million different directions. I try so hard not to disappoint people and follow through on my commitments, but I feel like this week...I'm coming up short on every side.

I have been a part of our Women's planning team at church for years and for the past 6-8 months we've been planning our Fall Retreat. Well, it's this weekend. The weekend before Mal's surgery. The weekend Q will be gone TDY with the National Guard. The weekend that Mal has to do Pre-Op for surgery and have her second visit to the physical therapist. THIS WEEKEND! I want to go so badly, but I feel torn...that I need to be at home getting things together for next week...being there for my daughter...taking care of my kids while their dad is away. Yet, I've committed to go to this retreat and my place there will have to be paid for regardless of whether I go or not...money that could be well used next week when I'm staying at the hospital.

I have wrestled with this decision all week. My emotions are not to be trusted...I'm fearful of the surgery on Mallorye next week and all that it could mean...I'm anxious about insurance coverage and being off work for several days...I want my house to be in order before the surgery...I just have a million things running through my head...guilt...fear...frustration...anxiety. I know that none of that is from God, but I honestly don't know what to do.

I just don't know what to do.

6 comments:

Alicia Chambers said...

Whatever you need me to do I will do. If you would like us to take Blake this weekend we will? Need help with your house give me a call. What do you need us to do? This is a very serious offer that I don't put out for everyone so if you need me yell!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I'm so sorry, friend. I'll pray for some wisdom to come your way. :)

letters to elijah said...

Life happens. Be with your daughter. Keep your home in order. Feel comfortable that your family and house are okay. No one expects you to do it all.

You have done 99% of the work that needed to be done for this weekend in the past 6 months. Something has come up and you are unable to complete the task. It's okay.

John and Melissa Simmons said...

Psalms 46:10...gotta remind yourself whose at the wheel sis! you know this:)

Mamasphere said...

It sounds like no matter what you decide to do, you're going to have one heck of a busy weekend! I say pray about it (which I'm sure you've been doing), and go with your gut.

Krystyn said...

Wow! That's a lot to take in.

I hope you are able to figure it out.

Don't forget to pray about it, and surely God will give you the answers you need.