Monday, April 23, 2007

Marking the Hard Spots

Warning...this post may be controversial!! Ever since I was a teenager, I've wanted a tatoo. I've never been quite brave enough to inflict this pain on myself and my husband was adamantly opposed. However, recently he relented and I summoned up my courage. I didn't want this to just be a tatoo...I wanted it to have meaning to symbolic. So, I set out to research what I wanted and why. It's no great secret that my life has been far from the fairy tale that we read about as children and the past 2 years have been extremely difficult. I fought along side my mom as she battled cancer (and won!) and I took the family reigns as my husband left for an 18 month overseas deployment. Along the way, there have been bumps and bruises, but God turned things that seemed horrible into huge blessings in my life. Through my mom's cancer our relationship was restored and is better than ever. Both my mom and myself learned that we have courage and tenacity that we never dreamed we had. Through the deployment God gave me a newfound love and respect for my husband. He restored or rather saved, that relationship as well. Restoration appeared to be the theme of the past 2 years, but then I took a closer look and realized it was really transformation. The common denominator is that my attitude has changed and I have been transformed to being more what Christ would have me a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I believe you really can't have true restoration without some transformation...don't you agree?? Now, what does all this have to do with the tatoo? I decided to mark this point in my life with a butterfly in tribal flight which symbolizes coming from a difficult place to a better place. I couldn't think of a more fitting symbol and I know that every time I see it I will remember what God has brought me through. It's permanent, just as I am permanently sealed as a "daughter of the King." I know not everyone agrees with tatoos, but for me, it just felt like the right thing to do....marking the hard spots in my life, but honoring them as well....honoring the fact that God took all the bad and made something wonderful!!


Anonymous said...

Well said, my friend. God really has transformed your life in the last two years. I consider myself blessed to have had the chance to witness it. You are so eloquent in the way you voice yourself. Keep writing. I love hearing what you have to say.

Big Bro said...

Well I understand the hubbys point of view about tatoos. My wife has brought it up before. I like her the way God gave her to me.
On the flip side of that coin, I also see your milestones and have shared a few of them from a distance, we have shared a few laughs and pearls of wisdom between the two of us and I am sure the same is true of your friendships closer to home. But one thing I have said, and I will repeat, is that you have grown so much, and you have come so far , even in the face of adversity of the worst kinds. Your Love and faith towards God has increased so much and is very apparent,and becoming. You have most likely not only discovered strengths that you have shared but the ones you chose not to share with anyone. You have learned to allow God to take challenges , trials , sorrows and turn them to oppurtunities to serve Him and be about the Fathers business, as well as reach out to your neighbors friends and family.
Having learned this lesson the same way you have by living through the hard times. I do know that it is never a cake walk. But the stronger we become in the Lord the easier it becomes, and the more 'oppurtunities' he will provide. Keep on Keeping on! And as others have stated, write on , God gave you a heart and a mind for a reason....Let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and that it will Glorify the Father in Heaven.