Saturday, October 20, 2007

Role Play

OK, I've decided that I'm one of those sick, twisted women, that actually enjoys housework and finds it....therapeutic and ...relaxing...{GASP}. Maybe I should explain. Q has been home now for 3 weeks and is home ALL day while I go to work each day...a little role reversal of sorts...except I don't recall staying home for 3 weeks since our babies well, were babies. Anyway, he's been trying to keep the housework done...laundry, dishes, you know the drill. And while that all sounds very good, the problem is I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I like things done a certain way and I like my routine. I've actually found myself slipping into a bit of a funk, because I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not sure when I get home if I should sweep the floor that he's already swept or just let it go. Does anyone hear me?? So, last night, I sent him to the store with Mal for a few minutes while I cleaned the kitchen and this morning I intentionally got up before everyone else...just so I could clean!! But, know what? I feel better! I think women just need to be least a's in our blood, the way God created us. Just like He made our husbands to be the providers. When we're not fulfilling our God-given roles, then someones not happy. Q still has about a month before he returns to work, so I've got to find a solution to our current role play...cause when momma ain't know the rest of the story!


Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

I hear ya... I hope you find a solution that keeps you both happy and feeling good about the roles you play in your family!


Gary and Vicki Mealer said...

Ok girlfriend, its time to talk! Do you know how many women are reading this and wishing they had your problem??? Most men don't lift a finger to do anything with out a fight let alone clean house.
It's a two way street in any marriage, sometimes role reversal is good for a marriage, it makes you appreciate the role of the other partner. If he was home all day and not doing anything at all then you would be like the other 95% of the women, who can;t get any help:)
Don't be so anal retentive that you can't just let him do it his way for a little while longer, it won't be long he will be back at work and you will be wishing he could help a little more. Relax and enjoy the help. God may being
doing a good work in your marriage and you might miss it trying to do it your way. Love ya.

Big Bro said...

Hey sis! Well rest assured your not alone in the feeling the need to do house work. As you know , Melissa works in the day at the hospital, while I am at home with Destiny and so forth.I work opposite hours when she gets off at 5. I usually work until sometime between 1 and 3 am in the shop. Since hunting season has started its closer to 3 am most nights/mornings.
We have had this issue of role reversal . And my wife has told me more than once, I am not a housecleaner, I am man , and we dont clean as well as the women folk. Ok I will give her that. But housework is found by many to be relaxing and even a way to unwind. Plus you always get a feeling of accomplishment. Its even gone so far with us , that sometimes, she ask me not to do the housework because i dont do it to her standards.
The important thing I have learned is not to take offense to it, if she redoes a floor or redust, or something like that. I used to at first, because in my mind, I was trying to do my part to help her keep the house up. But when it comes to cleaning , its best to let the women folk do their thing. Even if you girls elect to do something , that in our minds eye as guys doesnt need redone. Its not personal , the women folk just have a set way of doing things to obtain the results they are accustomed to. It would be like me letting Melissa work on one of the rifles I build. She could probably learn how to do it, and do ok, but it would never be 100% to my liking. We all tend to be perfectionist at things we have experience and excel at. And like you said , women just have a better since of things of this nature. And yes by divine creation the woman is better suited for being 'domestic'. But also consider that us guys who love our respective wives, feel the need and responsisbility to try and help where we can.
My wife and I have a compromised list of shared house chores so to speak. It works well. Perhaps you and Q can discuss something similiar that works for you both. But to answer your question, my wife hears ya loud and clear. lol She says anytime you want just drop her an email. We been there done that. We can look back and laugh now, but your right, at first until a simple understanding of the 'domestic duties' are agreed upon by both, it can make for sensitive situations.
I have been sent to the store before too. lol ... But i knew why when I was going... sometimes us guys have to go along with things too until a discussion and compromises are agreed upon. Its simple enough, just sit down and do it one night. Problem solved.

Love ya gang!

John and Melissa

Big Bro said...

oh yeah... and one other thing... while we all as parents try to insure the kids concentrate on school work and the things they are involved in like sports, mission work, etc. The 'domestic front' is also a great opportunity , as you most likely know, to teach some additional responsisbilities. You and Q delegating a few chores to them is instrumental in achieving this goal. Nothing at all wrong with them doing a few chores . It helps them and you guys. Just a gee wiz thought I am sure you were already aware of, but didnt want to leave anything out.