Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Right Kind Of Change

I found a new quote and put it on my sidebar.

"The right kind of change doesn't take you away from yourself, it wakes you up to yourself."

How many times have we tried to change to fit a mold, only to find it takes us further and further from who we really are. I love this quote and the fact that it focuses on change being something that makes you a better person...a better you. Not something that you're not...just you. I love that. It's the kind of change I seek in my life.

Things I know that need to change, to bring me back to who I am, to the better me;

*accountability...being real and transparent without fear of judgement
*hospitality...having friends over, hangin' out, enjoying the company of others
* is a must for me to lose weight and start taking care of myself, yoga pants and t-shirts are not things I find attractive for every day wear, just necessary at the moment. Lose weight. Get a new wardrobe.
*date night...hubby and I need this, and it has to become a priority

These are just a few and they're not based on what others think of me, but they're based on things I know that make me a better person. How do I know? Because at one time, I was doing these things...and I liked who I was then. I want that happy, confident, contagious person back.


Alicia Chambers said...

Awesome! Love the new post best of luck to you doing all this!

John and Melissa Simmons said...

Good morning sis-
Well as I read your latest entry, I couldnt help but think to myself, many folks have the same fears and aspirations. In todays society, being ones self is a challenge all of its own. While your friends and family arent going to be as concerned as to whether or not you qualify for the cover of the leading model magazine. That does not mean it isnt important to you. I agree that you must be at a place where your content with yourself. One of the few things that family and friends cant help us change is our physical appearance. Only we as individuals can accomplish that. But, we also have to consider this, on the day of the rapture, were outta here in a twinkling of an eye, choosing the right dress or outfit and throwing on some makeup at the last minute will not much matter.
But in real time, I understand your desire to get back to whereever it was you were content with yourself.
Its also very important you realize that your friends and your family care for the person you truly are. And for what it is worth your one ofthe most stubborn,willful,caring,determined passionate friends I have. I am confident you will reach whatever goals you set for yourself.
I am by far, not GQ magazine cover material, lol. But then again lets keep it real , alot of that stuff is airbrushing and the like anyway.
What is it I said to my wife one day? "I may not be pretty, but I sure am ugly." Obviously the silliest thing you have heard in a while. But I am just me,I figure if people dont like the way I look, look the other way, But I consider my wife beautiful, as I know Q considers you beautiful.Now us guys, were not so worried about it. We mainly want to stay fit and be healthy. The pressures on the female of the species are considerably higher from society and the like. I look at it like this sis. The people who care for us, love us , share life with us , it doesnt really matter to them because they have chosen to be in our lives because of who we are, what we are. Not whether or not we look good with a six pack across our belly or flaunting a trim swimsuit at the pool.
I think your goals are real and do-able. Just keep it real and dont jeapordize your health. You have plenty of sense to do it the right way.
Now for the items you listed, accountability- remember your accountable to yourself, and God. In this life your also accountable to your husband in certain matters ,as he is to you. The same with the kids. God planned things to be that way. Scriptures tell us His intentions.
Its interesting that you brought up 'judgement'. The society we live in breeds judgemental people. To me a judgemental person is as hideous as an infected open wound. And not suprisingly ,both share some of the same characteristics.

Before I had ever moved here,met my wife or anything, I was turning a blind eye to judgemental people. Sis what do we care what others would ever think? We dont. Especially people that would pass judgement on our past our physical appearance and the like. We have to remind ourselves that Jesus said ' ye without sin cast the first stone'. When people judge without heeding that teaching. It makes them a hypocrite to put it lightly. We have to use our gifts of discernment and accumalated wisdom to consider the source of anyone who would pass judgement.
We have to understand if they are not Christians that their intentions will obviously not be what they should. Many people make themselves feel bigger and better than another by patronization and judging wrongfully,forgetting their own shortcomings. Especially people who pass judgement based on gossip and heresay, not really knowing the truth about anything. Which would include themselves.
All you need to concern yourself with is how you judge yourself. If you seek clarification , go to your husband, your best friend, talk about it, pray about it and seek the right resolutions.
You do live for the King. Its obvious. "We shall know one another by the fruits we bear"
Sis I love ya just how you are, but in line with being honest and open as our friendship has been based on more times than not. I also understand and support your efforts to find the place where 'you' would like to be.
Now... from mine and Melissas point of view, I dont see a hospitality issue. You opened your home to us when we were in town to visit. You have given us that welcome in standing invitation whenever we come to town, you have invited us to be a part of your small group hosted in your home when we move. I think this fear is more of a 'judgemental fear' than a hospitality one. Eliminate one and the other will follow.
Another thing we have in common. Date night with our spouses. I would give my left arm. Mine and Melissas last date night was in July. Around my birthday. Our children are at the middle age , almost but not quite old enough to leave home with out fearing of a fire or something Except, Destiny has a few years more to go than the other 2.
But date night with the significant other is a goal i share with you. Truthfully ourse is usually at home with me cooking out and a movie or something. Basically because we live 30 miles from civilization ... and any trusted babysitters.
You know as well as I where our true happiness eminates from, suffice it to say ,not of this world. Keeping that in focus will help you obtain the goals you have even quicker I beleive.
As silly as it sounds, one of my goals is learning to use the spell/syntax check thingymajigger on the pc when I type something. As it is sometimes when hurried i sound as if I learned English from 'Tonto'. Come Kimosabi, We Go..
Ya gotta laugh ,you know its true.My wife is always pointing out my typos. She learned how to type well in her career, I havent bothered much. "Figure I will learn me up some of that new fangled typin stuff some day " lol

Overall my dear friend, I can only add this. It is awesome to have the goals we feel our important as long as they are in line with gods plan, as we both know.
But we also must be ever mindful of the moment at hand. Careful not to be consumed by what lay ahead, or might lay ahead for us. A trap many have fallen into. True happiness my friend not only comes from within us, but also is a gift from above. When we acknowledge that and seek that without fears like being judged or fitting in or whatever, then we truly have acomplished something. As Christians we have signed ourselves up for scrutiny and bias and judgemental people to take their shots at us. Always remember none are without sin or fault. Our lives our testimony will reflect whee our true happiness lays. Happiness based on much of anything in this world is fleeting at best , and we know the Lord teaches that the things of this world are guaranteed to decay and rot away. Be mindful, our bodies are made from the dust of this world, and it is to dust they will return.
Will say a prayer today for your goals and ask for God to help you in the ways he sees fit to.
As far as being contagious. Your a Christian, cant think of anything better to be contagious with. Have a great day sis , keep your confidence focused on the Lord and not on people and i truly beleive you will reach all of your goals!

mindi said...

Good luck, I am right there with ya!! I don't like who I am right now. So I am trying to become someone that I will like again. But I think you're great, you've been there for me through this deployment. Thanks for that :D